Men in Black II

I am not for sure how well this is going to turn out, but I’m going to start doing movie reviews here. The movies may be current, dated, or even classic. I may be seeing a movie for the first time or the dozenth. I simply enjoy writing move reviews, and I know all you out there highly value my opinion on things like this.

That said, I’m going to be utilizing hReview for my reviews, simply because it is the geek thing to do. (You’ll thank me later.)

DVD photo: Men in Black II Men in Black II

Fans of the original Men in Black will undoubtedly agree that one of the film’s best features is the great comical chemistry between leads Will Smith & Tommy Lee Jones.

Don’t expect too much of the same. This time around, we find that Earth is under threat from an alien named Sarleena, who reminds me a great deal of Bushroot. But this sprout comes with a twist: she can somehow expand in size and force her seemingly infinite vines into whatever form (and color) she chooses, which just happens to be an underwear model. She comes to earth looking for the Light of Zartha, and she comes to realize only Tommy Lee Jones’ character Agent K knows where it is.

The problem is, K’s memory was wiped at the conclusion of the first film, which leads to Will Smith’s Agent J going through a string of partners who fail to meet up to his standards. Apparently, J has grown to become a “one man team” of sorts around Men in Black Headquarters, which is reminiscent of his “one man team” basketball games during his stint on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

In investigating Sarleena’s attacks, J temporarily teams up with Frank, the alien pug. As much as I try, I just cannot like Frank, though he is good for a few chuckles. Still, Agent K is nowhere to be found in this film.

Turns out, he’s been working at a post office, staffed entirely by — you guessed it — aliens. And whoever was designing the aliens for this movie, well, they were scraping a bit too hard at the bottom of that barrel.

Almost half a movie of ridiculous jokes and incredulous aliens later, J & K finally get back together — we even get to see Tony Shalhoub return as Jack Jeebs, if all too briefly.

The rest of the movie doesn’t get any better, as far as plot goes, but the laughs pick up quite a bit as Smith & Jones play off each other so well.

Highlights of the movie

  • The subway scene involving Agent J & the giant worm. The scene on the subway car is easily one of the funniest in the movie.
  • Rosario Dawson as Laura Vasquez. Apparently, Dawson is fairly famous, but this is the only work she’s ever done that I’ve seen. She brings an innocent kind of sweetness to the movie that even the first one lacked; her character is one of the very few things that keeps this movie from being simply absurd.

Lowlights of the movie

  • Sarleena & her idiot sidekicks Scrad & Charlie. After the amazing Edgar-bug of the first film, these three are the best villains they could come up with? I’m not sure what they hoped to achieve with Johnny Knoxville as Scrad & Charlie — they added nothing Sarleena couldn’t do herself with her seemingly infinite supply of vines. And someone needs to have sprayed Sarleena with some weed killer. The giant worm was more entertaining.
  • The flush. J & K are in a special chamber at headquarters when the place is attacked by Sarleena. This triggers “lockdown” and apparently rather than safely sealing the occupants within the chamber, J & K were literally flushed right out of Men in Black headquarters. The whole thing really does look like they’re going down a toilet, too, making me wonder if they knew so much of this movie would be, well, flushable waste.

Rent it if you liked Will Smith & Tommy Lee Jones together in the first film. Otherwise, it is a mediocre comedy with a mediocre sci-fi plot comprised of mostly forgettable characters.

Rating: 6 out of 10

As I said above, I’m not really a pro at doing movie reviews by any means. Whatever feedback you can give would be great. What do you think about the movie based on my review? Does it make you want to see the movie? Why or why not? If you have seen it, did the review change your mind about anything? What should I concentrate on more or less?

3 thoughts on “Men in Black II”

  1. “a mediocre comedy with a mediocre sci-fi plot comprised of mostly forgettable characters.”

    And that rates a six?!?!? That leaves five shades of crap below it, and only four grades of better than mediocre above it.


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