The Vault

Periodic Parties

Idea for celebrating the birthdays of science lovers: For every birthday, celebrate in a manner which coincides with the matching element on the periodic table. Turning 10? Break out the neon and party like it’s the 80s/90s. Seventeen coincides with chlorine, so hit the pool! At 28, ritually burn in effigy any Nickelback merchandise you can lay hands on. Thirty-six, naturally, requires a Superman themed party. In a few weeks, I’m turning thirty-three; arsenic coincides with that, so I’m either to poison my enemies (gonna have to find some enemies first, I suppose) or relax with a salad and some apple juice (both natural sources of arsenic) while watching Arsenic and Old Lace. We’ll see.