You Know You’re From Indiana When…

Alicia published one “You Know You’re From…” a while back, and it was different and shorter than this one I just found. I figured I’d post it and maybe someday someone will combine the two lists to make one even more definitive. Oh, and any italicized comments in this list are my own, not actually part of the list.

  • You drive for three hours and the scenery outside doesn’t change. Flat fields… But hey, they can be pretty!
  • There’s three feet of snow on the ground and school is still in session. Not always, but yes, there were some days that I don’t know why school was still in…
  • You only go to the mall once a year ’cause it takes too long to get there. Nearest is 45 minutes…
  • While driving all you see is corn. And we learn to appreciate it.
  • People still have Christmas decorations up at Easter. Our outside lighting has been up for over a year now…
  • Anyone with a cell phone looks out of place. Ummm, I’m getting to be surprised when people without a cell phone look odd.
  • Walking through Wal-Mart with two carts full of kids is normal. Kids have no place in Wal-mart, people…
  • Anyone with a tan is rich. Rich people???
  • The hip hang-out place is McDonald’s. Dollar Store parking lot would be more accurate…
  • There really is more than corn in Indiana. There’s soybeans, too. Perhaps.
  • A restaurant has an invisible wall in the non-smoking section and you believe it works. I knwo it doesn’t work… And I hate them.
  • Speeding consists of 2 miles over the speed limit. Tell that to the people doing 90 down the interstate…
  • You think you don’t have to use a turn signal on your car because you don’t use it on your tractor. I’ve had many near-misses because the person in front of me or in my turning path were failing to use their signals…
  • You warsh your clothes and you think George Warshington was the first president. I know people like that…
  • You’re proud to be called a Hoosier, even if you don’t know what one is. Not a clue, but that’s okay ’cause the whole “state pride” thing seems pretty lame to me.
  • You have no problem spelling or pronouncing “Terre Haute” Nope, none at all.
  • Detassling was your first job. Bailing hay, your second. Not mine.
  • You can stack hay, swim in the pond to clean off, and then have the strength to play a couple of games of hoops all in the same day. Never had to, so who knows.
  • You say things like “catty-wumpus” and “kitty-corner”. I prefer to make up my own odd words, thank you very much.
  • You own a dirtbike or a ATV. Never have.
  • You live in a city, and there’s a cornfield in your backyard.
  • High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend nights than movie theaters. Probably, but since sports to me are a waste, then, well… I wouldn’t know.
  • You can see at least 2 basketball hoops from your yard. Yes, I can.
  • You can name every one of Bob Knight’s “exploits” over the last few years. Former IU coach with a temper probably… And that is the sum of my knowledge of him.
  • You shop at Marsh. Or, rather, Lo Bill Foods, one of Marsh’s properties.
  • Damon Bailey was your childhood hero. Never heard of ‘im.
  • The biggest question of your youth was “IU or Purdue?” Or not.
  • Indianapolis is the “big city”. Too big.
  • “Getting caught by a train” is a legitimate excuse for being late to school. One that I’ve had to use.
  • People at your high school chewed tobacco. As evidenced by the messes occasionally left underneath tables.
  • Everyone knows who the town cop is, where he lives, and whether he is at home or on duty. Not me.
  • You actually know what the CART vs IRL debate is about and have taken a side. The what?
  • To you, a raccoon is simply a “coon”. Nope.
  • The vehicle of choice in your area is not a car, but a pickup. There are quite a few.
  • Someone you know is BIG John Mellencamp fan. Not that I am aware of.
  • You’ve been to the Covered Bridge Festival. Sure haven’t.
  • To you, a tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles. Pickles? Gross; otherwise, yeah, that’s right.
  • You call a green bell pepper a “mango”. No, I don’t.
  • Sometimes, you call the toilet the “commode” or the “stool”. “Porcelain facilities” does just fine for me.
  • In the fall, one of your favorite pranks was corning cars. Huh?
  • You know what FFA and 4H stand for. “FFA” used to stand for “Future Farmers of America”; they changed it, and now I have no idea. I can’t remember what 4H stands for.
  • You know what chip-and-seal is, and your high school was located on just such a road. Again… Huh?
  • You go the county fair every night of it’s week-long duration. I greatly dislike fairs.
  • The last “g” is silent in any word ending in “ing.” Usually. It’s faster to type it that way. :)
  • You think the state Bird is Larry. Or, more accurate, I have no reason to care what the state bird is.
  • You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Indiana. Guilty.

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