The Flying Spaghetti Monster

I’ve been aware of this “phenomenon” for quite some time, and it seems to be growing rapidly amongst the fools (or, intelligentisia) of society… The “religion” of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a fairy tale introduced by pro-evolutionists to say that the Bible and its account of Creation is no more authoritative than something someone with a bone to pick makes up off the top of his head to support his point.
This fairy tale states that the Flying Spaghetti Monster, of FSM for short, is the creator, and parodies of Christianity and Christendom can be found everywhere, including a rendition of the Sistene Chapel ceiling with Adam reaching out and touching FSM’s “noodly appendage.”

“Adherents” (or, more properly, fans) of the FSM phenomenon claim that if Intelligent Design (“Creationism in disguise”) should have equal time in the classroom alongside of evolutionary teaching, than any origins explanation should be given equal time. After all, it is claimed, if you allow the supernatural for the Christians, you have to allow the supernatural for those who say the FSM created.

I’m sure many people have looked at the FSM movement and said “Yeah, I guess that Creationism thing doesn’t make sense after all,” or “Hmmm, maybe God is just as implausible as the FSM is…”

So, class, it is important to note what God calls these people: Fools. Do you want fools teaching you or influencing you? Of course not. Okay, continuing on…

Creation has as its authority the Holy Bible. To disagree with Creationism is to disagree with God. One of you is a liar, and God cannot lie… And remember, the Bible is self-authenticating, for it is a unified account written over a span greater than 1,000 years and penned by over 40 authors. It is harmonious in spite of that, and contains as the “clincher” numerous prophesies which have come to pass. Some of these prophesies came to pass hundreds of years after they were first penned.

No other document is as sure and reliable as the Holy Bible, especially anything the FSM advertisers can come up with. FSM has as its authority absolutely nothing except the incessant whining of fools who despite their lack of belief in God or Jesus Christ, constantly find themselves at war with Him.

As far as the scientific side of things go: I’m a Christian, and I say Creationism is not science. Gasp, shock and awe! Okay, that said, I will explain why.

We live on Earth (Welcome!), a world that has suffered from 6,000 years of a divinely placed curse. The Earth we live on today is *not* a reflection of the Earth which existed at Creation. Only God knows just what the effects of the separating of the continents of the global flood would have had on this planet!

The only reason that Creationists are right is because they agree with the word of God. Look at it this way: Science is based on the observable. God observed Creation. He is the only one who could, and it is not repeatable (certainly not by us). Therefore, the only being who could study origins scientifically is God Himself, and He already knows it all!

Evolutionists are looking for a possible explanation. It cannot be certain from a naturalistic point of view how the Earth came about because such an event can never be observed. Possibilities may be found (i.e., their precious evolutionary theory), but a possibility does not necessitate proof. It is possible that my next drink of delicious Cherry Coke will be my last, will choke me to death, or will taste nasty, but the possibility of such isn’t proof. (Mmmmm, that’s good stuff, and I don’t appear to be choking or dying.)

It is entirely possible to be a scientist and a creationist (many exist). They are wise enough (i.e., not foolish) to let God speak for that which we cannot know while continuing to discover what we can know.

Does Intelligent Design (and the FSM and whatever else) belong in the school? No. Does evolution? No. Frankly, there are more expedient and relevant things to teach children than telling them their parents are slightly more simian than they are.

Though, if we would all just wise up and teach our own children at home like God expects us to, we wouldn’t be having this “what can we teaching in school?” discussion.

Further, it would be great if the government was greatly minimalized back to its only biblical functions: rewarding the good and punishing evildoers. The satanically controlled government has no business involving itself in the lives and heritage of our children.

This loosely structured, caffeinne-enhanced/induced rant brought to you be the little “F.”

(Sorry, no linkage to any FSM propoganda. The fools do not need the advertising since the publicity is probably more than enough as is.)

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