The following is the testimony of my dear friend Rebecca Moore, which she has shared with me so that I might share it with all of you.
Well, for a long time I thought that I was saved. I looked and acted just like a Christian. I read my Bible everyday, prayed everyday, went to church every Sunday and Wednesday, went to revivals, attended as many church activities as possible, went on visitation, sang at nursing homes, and helped with the van ministry. I would’ve done anything if I thought it was pleasing to God.
I didn’t write all that to brag on myself but to let those of you who think you can get to Heaven by works: you can’t. I have done plenty of good deeds, but none of that meant that I was saved. Yes, I had a strong desire to serve God. I was even planning on going to a Christian college and becoming a missionary. However, not even my desire to serve God meant that I was going to Heaven.
I had the desire to serve God put in me as a little kid. My grandpa was a preacher and I went to his church as I was growing up. Him, my parents, and other people in that church taught me to want to serve God. Just because I loved God, though, did not mean that I was saved.
I had my doubts for a long time whether or not I was saved. I’ve heard my pastor say many times, “How can something as big as God be in you and you not know it?” Well, I didn’t know it. You may say, “Why didn’t you do anything about it?” I didn’t because I knew there was nothing that I could do until the Holy Ghost started convicting me. You can’t become saved anytime you want; the Holy Ghost has to draw you (“No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him:” John 6:44). The only thing I thought to do was to pray and say to God, “If I’m lost, show me.
Well, about six or more months had went by and I started giving up. I thought that since God hadn’t given me an answer that He just didn’t want me. I did the only thing I knew to do: I quit looking for the answer. I gave up completely. I didn’t care about anything anymore. I started telling myself that religion and Christianity are fake and that God couldn’t be real because He never showed me if I was really saved.
Deep in my heart, though, I knew He was real. I’d get scared when the thought entered my mind that He wasn’t because I knew He was; I was scared of not believing in Him.I stopped looking for God, but He started looking for me. He knew that I had given up; He wanted me that way. If He’d drawn me before I was defeated, I more than likely wouldn’t have listened because I would’ve tried to do things my own way.
Well, it was on a Friday (August 10, 2001), that God chose to knock on my heart’s door. The worst thing I believe in this world is to be lost and know it. It’ll scare you to death. We had camp meeting all that week and there had been various messages preached on hell but through them all I didn’t feel a thing. Like I said, I had given up and didn’t expect an answer anymore.
Well, that Friday morning we had some guest singers go up and sing a few songs. It was about the middle of the second song that I saw my sister Jennifer go up to the altar. I knew that she had doubted her salvation as well, so I went up to pray for her. I don’t even know why I did it because I knew that God couldn’t hear the prayers of the lost but I knew that I had to go up there. I no sooner hit the altar about ready to pray for my sister when I heard a voice say, “What about you? Are you saved?” It was such a small voice, but I knew it was God and I wasn’t saved.
My mom was on one side of my sister while Preacher’s wife was on the other side praying with her. I managed somehow to get my mom’s attention and she came over to me. I told her that I knew I wasn’t saved and that I wasn’t leaving the altar until I knew without a doubt that I was. My mom read me some verses and I just started crying. I had read those very same verse so many times, yet they meant so much more to me then.
I prayed to Jesus to forgive me of my sins and to come into my heart and save me. For some reason, I was expecting a big change right then or a big thing to happen. It didn’t happen like I thought; instead, I got such a peace in my heart right then I couldn’t even begin to explain. I wish I could explain it… How I felt right then… Oh, what a peace! I then knew without a doubt that I was saved. I don’t worry about things I used to anymore, and it now doesn’t feel like my prayers are just hitting the ceiling. I now know that God hears me! There just isn’t anything like being saved, and I thank God for not giving up on me!
I know that for almost 18 years that I could’ve died at any time and I would’ve went to a devil’s hell. Thank God that He didn’t give up on me when I gave up on Him! Now that’s a merciful God!
I’m also very grateful that He saved my Aunt Dyan and my sister that same morning; Rick, one of my best friends, later that night; and Rick’s mom Saturday night! A week later (August 17), the Lord blessed me again by allowing me to lead Sarah, another one of my best friends, to Christ! God has really been good to me, and He will to anyone who will accept Him. He wants to bless people if they’ll let Him.
As for right now, I still plan to attend Heritage Baptist University, but I’m not sure what God will have me to do with my life yet. No matter what it is, though, I’ll do it if He wants me to! I think the next best thing to being saved is to be serving the One who saved me, and whatever He calls me to do, I pray that I’ll do it. My worst fear is that I’d backslide so far or be so rebellious that I couldn’t be used of God — that He’d just put me on a shelf. I never want that to happen. I hope that whoever reads this will pray me to find God’s will for my life. That’s the only thing that matters in life is God and what He’d have you to do. Nothing else in this world is going to amount to anything.
I know people don’t hear many teenagers say this, but I’m looking forward to the Rapture (if God doesn’t call me home before then). I can’t wait to be with Him in Heaven, my true home! I have a grandpa up there waiting on me… He preached on Heaven all those years, and now he’s finally there. I can’t wait to see him again! I especially can’t wait to see Jesus!!
I pray that whoever might be reading this that you’ll ask yourself these questions: “Do you have loved ones up in Heaven? Will you ever see them again?” Maybe you don’t know if you have loved ones in Heaven. Maybe this is the first time you’ve heard about salvation. If it is, I pray that you will become saved before it’s everlasting too late, and if you want to know more about it or you want to talk to me about it, you can (I’m more than happy to help you)! If you ever feel God knocking at your heart’s door, please don’t shove God away — it might be your last chance. I thank you for reading my testimony, and I pray that it has been a blessing to you. God bless you!