Just Dreaming

I believe what Paul wrote about contentment, and so this thing I’m about to confess — simple though it may seem — is not something I confess joyfully because I believe it reveals the discontent ever-present within my heart:

I do not want to work where I work for the rest of my life.

It’s not that the job is a bad one or even that I’m bad at it. Like all jobs it has its ups & downs, but my issue is revelational more than it is the usual American dream “this job sucks” stuff.

I have a hard time reconciling a belief in the Book of Revelation with my own life — not to mention plenty of other passages scattered throughout the Scriptures. The economies of the world’s kingdoms are spoken of in glowing terms, yet I work for one of the world’s largest retailers?

That incongruity bothers me.

And it’s proving difficult to pursue those things which matter most to me in what little time I do have. I do confess, though, that a lot of my problem lies in poor time management.

Compound that with an inability to let go of various things so that I may live simply, and I’m left with a rather cluttered life that’s all too centered on the material things with which I’ve surrounded myself.

The words in the writings of Shane Claiborne’s writings are piercing, and he repeatedly calls to mind the attitude of the early church… or rather, what it means to be a Christian.

And I’m left wondering why it is I find it so hard to not continue in my life of spoil while there are those in my community who know of little else than a life of want.

Yet I find myself so numb to what actually matters.

I know there are others out there who are as fed up with the so-called American dream as I am… and I sincerely hope you’re doing better at overcoming it than I am.

To my shame, I can’t even tell where to begin.

4 thoughts on “Just Dreaming”

  1. “The economies of the world’s kingdoms are spoken of in glowing terms, yet I work for one of the world’s largest retailers? That incon­gruity both­ers me.”

    I am afraid you lost me there. What is the incongruity?

  2. I’m 56 years old and I have felt like you for at least 40 of those years. You are actually in a good place for two reasons: 1) You are aware of the issue and 2) You have the courage to confess it. Where to begin? Using your awareness and courage just consider each decision you make each day, in the Spirit, and make those decisions as righteously as you can. Days, weeks, months and years are made up of consecutive moments and moving righteously from moment to moment will get you where God wants you to go. It’s like Pilgrim’s Progress, though! That’s why the subtitle of my blog is “The rocky road to Christian sanctification.”

  3. I think you missed my sarcasm in the first statement, Dad. Chalk that one up to either unclear writing on my part… or the ongoing need of the English language for a sarcasm punctuation mark. (For the record, Ethiopian has one!)

    Thanks for commenting, Bob. And yeah, I know that a bunch of small changes can make a world of difference. I’ve started to make several, but I still feel as though I’m standing on a precipice and that the only way I’m going to be comfortable — as nonsensical as it seems — is to jump off into whatever big change that the cliffside represents.

    Unlike the Pilgrim’s Progress, there’s no CliffsNotes of my path that I can reference… :P

  4. Ah, of course. Sarcasm is particularly difficult to recognize for those of us who never use it.

    :)

    The funny thing is that after I read “The economies of the world’s king­doms are spo­ken of in glow­ing terms” my first thought was “They are?”, but I was willing to take your word for it.

    Regarding this:

    “I’m left won­der­ing why it is I find it so hard to not con­tinue in my life of spoil while there are those in my com­mu­nity who know of lit­tle else than a life of want.”

    First of all, the economy is not a zero sum game. Your “spoil” is not the cause of other’s “want”.

    Second of all, if you are concerned about the poverty of others, you are better positioned to do something about it if you do not share the poverty.

    Thirdly, take if from me you are not living a life of “spoil” all that much. I’m sure you have a few things that are “unnecessary, But there are few among us who do not.

    All that said, it is certainly healthy to look at possessions and ask “Do I really need this?”

    And it is never a bad idea to contemplate alternative careers (even if the result is to decide the present one is good).

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