A Return to Form

Two-hun­dred eighty-six days ago, I declared that I’m a pagan, specif­i­cal­ly an adher­ent to a non-Abra­ham­ic religion.

I’ve since come to the real­iza­tion that I no longer have any super­nat­ur­al beliefs or hangups. Over the course of my life, I’ve believed in and zeal­ous­ly stud­ied every­thing from para­psy­chol­o­gy to ufol­o­gy, mythol­o­gy to Christianity.

Unex­pect­ed­ly, I’ve returned to the “reli­gion of my child­hood”: a belief that death is mere­ly the oppo­site of birth. Before birth, there was null. After death, there is null.

Do I like that idea? Well, no. It ter­ri­fies the hell out of me, and it has since I was around sev­en or eight.

But until proof is found of an after­life, I’m no longer going to live what very like­ly is the only life I have cling­ing to a false hope.

This site, once called King­domGeek (and before that, Tim­o­th­y’s Bur­den), is too impor­tant to me to aban­don. I thought I could, but I’m back. There is a siz­able amount of posts here, many with which I no longer agree. That’s life. That’s growth.

Long sto­ry short, RickBeckman.org is back, and I aim to hit return it to its pre­vi­ous glo­ry… and then sur­pass it entirely.


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3 responses to “A Return to Form”

  1. Sandi Avatar
    Sandi

    Man, you sound like my husband.….

    Any­way, know­ing that the dead live on in me, my heart, my mind, my spir­it, my child makes me feel better :)

  2. Claude Avatar
    Claude

    Sor­ry to hear that. Exis­ten­tial cri­sis, perhaps?

  3. Rick Beckman Avatar

    Not real­ly. I was­n’t ques­tion­ing my own life; I was ques­tion­ing the life of God.

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Rick Beckman